


i know i was happier with you

by jungwirthstan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, If You Squint - Freeform, Lots of time jumps, Smut, also, brouis, ending is iffy, enjoy, give a lil respect, lower case intended, please no hate, yes i know no one ships brouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 15:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungwirthstan/pseuds/jungwirthstan
Summary: Even in the dark, they shined like a million stars. briana loved the galaxy and stars, and it fit her, he thought, because looking in her eyes, was like looking into a galaxy.





	i know i was happier with you

louis has never been a cupid when it came to love. jeez, his longest relationship ended in a disaster. his longest and most serious one. all the others lasted a day maybe a week. but she had been different, god was she different. he had fallen so deeply in love with her, that everything she did was angelic in his eyes. 

he had never been in love, never, but he knew, when she had walked into that coffee shop all those years ago, he just knew. it was like a classic movie scene, everything slowed down, and suddenly, she was all he could see, and he knew, right then, she had to be his. 

it took three weeks exactly, three weeks of louis buying her coffee, and asking her name (which she was adamant on not telling him) three weeks of pining. he even went as far as bringing his youngest siblings, twins doris and ernest, with him, because babies soften woman. apparently that was not enough either. 

but after three weeks, louis thinks he may have heard angels sing, when she finally told him her name. briana. briana, briana, briana. gosh, even her name was perfect. and that same day, he acquired her number, and later that day he asked her on their first date. 

he remembers asking her one day. they had been together about seven months, and they were laying naked in the sheets, as louis brushed his hand through her brown hair, "why did you say yes." he asked. she turned, her eyebrows knitted together. 

"what are you talking about?" she asked, laughing a bit. briana has always thought louis was strange, and she said it made him all the better. louis used to hate being called weird or strange, but on her tongue, it sounded so right, he loved it. her little weirdo, she'd say.

 

"when i asked you out, that day, you said yes. you had been saying no for weeks. what changed that day?" he clarified, meeting her eyes. even in the dark, they shined like a million stars. briana loved the galaxy and stars, and it fit her, he thought, because looking in her eyes, was like looking into a galaxy. 

she smiled, so softly, staring back, that beautiful fond smile, that made his heart skip a beat every time, "because, when i first met you, i told myself i wouldn't let myself fall, if it wasn't gonna work. i gave you three weeks, in my head of course. if you still asked after three weeks, you were serious." she explained, resting a hand on his cheek.

he smiled, and he said what he had been thinking since he first saw her, "god, i love you" and once it was out, her face changed, she smiled, a smile louis had yet to see. bigger then her others, brighter, happier. 

"and i love you, weirdo" she said back. and louis smiled too. he knew it was different then his rest too. he was the happiest he'd ever been. he never wanted to lose this feeling, or this girl. 

he hadn't planned on it either, he needed her. and she needed him. especially a year later, when louis walked into his flat, that he had just recently invited briana to move in with him. of course, she said yes.

when he walked in, she was there, a box in hand, and the smile she wore when he had first said i love you. louis furrowed his eyebrows.

"whats going on bria?" he asked tentatively, putting his keys down on the counter. she handed him the box. 

"come sit, and then open it" she invited, sitting on the couch. he followed, beyond confused. 

"did i forget an anniversary?" he asked, worried. she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. he hated when she did that, he loved seeing her smile. he shook his head fondly. 

"no, weirdo, just open it!" she urged. he sat the box on his lap and opened it, a white shirt sat there. he picked it up, and read the writing. 

'worlds best dad!' 

"i don't get it?" he asked, looking towards briana. she nodded her head down the the box, causing louis to look down. there, laying straight up, with a big pink plus sign, was a pregnancy test. louis' mouth dropped open, dropping the shirt, and picking it up. 

"oh," he said, dumbstruck, "oh my god, is this for real? are you..?" he asked, looking down at her stomach. her smile got beyond wider, nodding, as tears filled her eyes. 

"im pregnant, lou, we're pregnant." she confirmed. louis and briana were crying by now. he dropped the item back in the box, and hugged her tightly. all his life louis couldn't wait to be a dad, now he was going to be a dad and the love of his life was gonna be a mom. they were gonna be parents. and damnit, they were going to be the best parents this world ever saw. 

a few months passed, and briana was now five months pregnant. she had a bump, not huge, but there. right inside that small bump, was their creation, their little baby girl or boy. it another month they decided if they wanted to know the sex, or wait for the birth. 

"what do you want?" louis asked on night laying in bad, one hand on her bump, the other petting her head. she smiled, and put her thinking face on. 

"a boy. i want a little baby boy, who would be a mamas boy." she admitted, that smile back. louis hummed, rubbing her stomach thoughtfully, she looked down at him, "and you?" she asked. louis looked up, answer being ready since the day he found out. 

"a girl" he said surely. briana laughed. 

"why? so she'd be a daddys girl and praise you?" she asked, louis laughed too, shaking his head. he leaned up and kissed her so softly on her lips, such a sweet kiss, both their teeth ached. 

"no," he said softly, "so id have another you to love." he promised. and the tears were back, the pregnancy brought a lot of tears, "and she'd have your original blond hair, and your pretty blue eyes with curiosity and galaxies in them, just like you." he continued. 

"god, i love you" she said through tears. he kissed her again. 

"and i love you, weirdo" he said back, causing them both to laugh. this was all they needed. forever. 

soon enough briana was full term, ready to pop any minute. they had decided to be surprised with the sex, positive it would make the moment all the more emotional. 

louis had been at work when it happened. he was editing a record for a band he had recently signed, when he got that call from tammi, brianas mom. 

"louis?" she said frantic, rushed movements on the other end. he heard a small groan of pain. 

"whats going on?" he asked, standing up. there was a pause, and a soft chuckle. 

"the babys coming." 

louis had dropped ran so fast, he knocked the chair back, running through the halls of the recording studio yelling "im having a baby! its coming! my babys coming" with shouts of congratulations following after. 

here it was, the best day of his life, the second being meeting briana, and the third had yet to come, but it would be marrying her. he had rushed as fast as he could without breaking the law to the hospital. once there, he ran to the desk. 

"my girlfriends having a baby uh, briana, briana jungwirth" he said, out of breath. the woman smiled, and gave him the room and floor. 

when he got there, her family, which was her mom, step dad, and brother, was waiting. he hugged them all.

"hey do you mind calling my mom? im gonna go in with briana, i wanna give her my full attention." he asked. tammi nodded, already pulling her phone out, when he walked in. and there she was, huge tummy, bloated face, no make up, and absolutely beautiful. 

"hey baby" he said softly, kissing her forehead. she smiled softly, "ready to meet out baby?" he asked. she laughed, and nodded. 

"cant wait to get him or her out, lou" she admitted, "i mean, being pregnant is great, but, painful" she whined, shifting a bit. louis laughed holding her hand tightly. 

"i know, love, you've done so well. you make me the happiest man on earth. i love you." he pours out, emotionally. tears already starting. 

soon, the music is put on faintly in the back, soft nursery songs, and its time to push. 

the entire family, both louis' giant one, and brianas average sized one, huddled up, excited, and waiting. a while later. a doctor walks out, and instead of the smile they had expected, he looks troubled. 

"tammi? briana wants you." he says. tammi, confused, walks into the quiet room. the family, worried, waits, and waits, and waits. 

that's when louis walks out, his eyes puffy and casted downward. 

"it was a girl" he says, voice breaking, "she was a girl" he repeats, not able to look up. everyone, sits still, not knowing what to do. 

"lou?" jay, his mom, asked softly, "louis, darling, whats going on?" she tries, grabbing his shoulders gently. he looks up, and she sees that broken look no mother ever wishes to see on their childrens face. 

"she's gone" he breaks down now, falling into his moms arms. by now, the entire family is crying. 

she's gone, that baby, the baby they had waited months for, happy, patiently, the baby that will never occupy the nursery, never lay in the bed, never cuddle up to her parents, never laugh, or cry, or play, or fall down, or fall in love. the baby they never had, is gone. 

and nothing will ever be the same, not for louis, or briana. no one. 

another few months, spent in early nights, on opposite sides of the bed. fake smiles, and unloving pecks hello or goodbye. that love, that spark, it was gone. louis hasn't felt that feeling that pushed him to say i love you since that day. 

he began drinking. he was depressed, beyond depressed. and one night, he does the one thing not even he expected, because he knows he still loves briana, but he was drunk. 

he got home, drunk, stumbling, repressed feelings and all, there she is. she had gained a bit of weight since the baby, not having motivation to workout or eat healthy, but god was she just a beautiful as the day he met her. 

"what are you doing up" he asked, leaning against a wall. she glares at him. he feels bad, deep, deep, down. its not supposed to be like this. gosh, it all went so wrong. 

"louis, you cant keep doing this. I'm sad too, okay. i get it, you're coping, but its not healthy this was." she says, nothing but concern and good intentions meant. but he's drunk, he doesn't care. 

"ha, says the girl who's eaten half the house and then some" he remarks snidely, looking her up and down. she intakes a breath, and sighs, trying not to lose her cool. 

"louis, stop" she tried, teeth gritted. he laughs humorlessly, cause no, he wasn't gonna stop, he had only began, actually. 

"why? i lost a baby, my baby, my little girl. i saw her face once, held her once. now all i have is.. you. but i dont want you anymore. i don't need you. and i see that now. you never were anything. gosh, i cant believe i pretended to love you." he spits, venom in every word. 

at this point briana was crying, but she kept a stony expression, anger building up, "she was my daughter too!" she screams, louis looks up, taken back, "she was my baby too, i lost her too." she breaks. now bawling her eyes out. 

everything in louis says to go to her, hold her, kiss her, apologize, fix this. but instead, he stumbles to the bedroom, closes the door, drowning out her cries, and falling into blackness. 

by the next morning, she's gone. her clothes, her hair stuff, even some of the babies stuff. all gone. and he cried, harder then he ever has, harder then when they lost the baby, harder then when his grandpa died, harder then he knew he could cry. 

she was gone, and he was broken. 

it was probably close to a month later, he was certain he'd never see briana again, when, there she was, looking down at her phone. she lost the weight she'd gain, she was wearing jeans, and a nasa shirt, and he hair was blond again.

he thought it was a mirage, but no, he'd know his briana anywhere. he was just about to make way to her, beg for her back, his life wasn't the same without her, and it never would be. he needed her. 

right as he took the first step, a man came up behind her, and covered her eyes, whispering in her ear, suddenly a big smile graced her face, a huge one, a first i love you, and im pregnant smile. and she turned, and kissed him deeply. 

and with that, his heart broke. there was his girl, the love of his life, the mother of his stillborn child, kissing some, guy. not him. and god it was his fault, he drove her away, her broke her heart, when she needed him most, he wasn't there. 

it didn't hurt any less though. the walked into a bar, and louis, being louis, followed. once inside, the couple made way to a group of people and sat. he got a table in the corner, where he could see without being seen. 

what felt like forever of watch her laugh and kiss this man, she finally stood, walking out the bar. he quickly makes it out to her, running as fast as he did the day he learned she was having the baby. 

once outside, he caught his breath. there she was, back facing him, hair blowing in the wind. 

"briana" he said. he watched her stiffen, and turn slowly. her eyes finally meet his, and something shifts. they sit there, for what feels forever, before he speaks. 

"you look good. really good, bria, and happy. you look happier then you ever did with me, and god that hurts. i dont expect you to be with me, ever again, but just listen. im still in love with you, i always will be in love with you, briana. you were my first love, and you will be my last, whether im yours or not. i hope you get everything you're looking for. but no one, not one person, not that guy in there, not any guy to be, will love you the way i did. and if he breaks your heart, like lovers tend to do. ill be waiting, for you. always you." 

and with that, he's gone. and then she has a choice, to follow him down the street, or to walk back into the bar, and never turn back around. 

and a few years later, when she's married to that guy, and then has a kid with him, louis still waits. he moves on, he marries a girl, they have to kids, one named luke, the other named josie, the same name briana wanted there stillborn baby to be named, he still waits. and when one day they pass on the street, her holding her sons hand, and him holding his daughters, they dont meet each others eyes. 

two strangers, one with galaxies in her eyes, the other a complete weirdo. but strangers.


End file.
